The original purpose of this blog was to reach those of us that are in our mid-twenties and still waiting to really "start our lives." It is an attempt to reach others that that have gone to school, made the grades, graduated from college, got the great job and still feel like we haven't accomplished much of anything thus far.
The majority of my friends are unmarried, have no children and have decided to "wait" until they are financially independent. I have to admit I am in the same boat as them, but at what point do we stop waiting for everything to be perfect before we start living? Should we really expect that the universe will follow our flawless plans that we have made for ourselves before we embark on the journey of life?
I feel as though our generation is constantly waiting. We as young women were taught to become independent and work and get an education no matter the cost. I do agree that a woman should be independent but what did it really end up costing us in the long run? Our parents are happy we did those things but now are saddened that we are unmarried and childless. When they ask why this is the path we have chosen they seem shocked that a woman could put her desire to become educated before that of being a mother. Our response to such criticims? I'm waiting until the time is right. When exactly will it be the right time though? Is there a pressing To-Do List that must be checked off before deciding to actually do the things you have planned for yourself?
We wait for:
promotions
a better job to come along
the next paycheck to splurge on those shoes
the guy to call us first
a proposal
higher education
opportunities to find us
someone to speak up first
the next election
And for what?!?! Where has all this waiting gotten us? When will it be alright to live our lives for ourselves and not be a slave to paychecks, deadlines, lists, plans? I am tired of waiting. I am drained from waiting on life to take me by storm. Nothing will happen unless you take the plunge to let it happen to you. Open your eyes and your heart and let love for yourself, your God and LIFE into you. Let your passion lead you for once and not your practical sensible ways. Marry the love of your life. Kiss your partner every time you feel like it. Apply for graduate school or that new job. Move to a new city if you so choose. Stop waiting and start living.
I for one am finishing the waiting game and placing my playing piece on the start line in the real game of Life.
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Been there, done that. Twenty-one (yes, I'm old) years ago, I was feeling the same way as you. Three months before my 26th birthday, my best friend and I eloped. We had been dating exclusively for 7 and a half years. We moved in together nine months before we married. On December 5th, 1988, after attending a big wedding for one of our close friends, while driving home, he turned to me and said, "Lets get married". I asked when? And he said now. It was a Saturday night, too late to do anything like that, so Monday morning, after talking Sunday, I called the local Justice of the Peace office to see if he was available Christmas Eve. He wasn't, but was available Dec 23rd. Next, I called the printing company and ordered announcements, which were delivered in a week. We had a very private ceremony; no one knew or in attendance and on Christmas Eve presented each of our family members with a card announcing our wedding. What a gift to everyone involved. To our parents, "they are finally married" and to ourselves "we just promised to spend the rest of our lives together, in good times and bad".
ReplyDeleteThe next question from everyone was, so when are you going to have kids? We were in no hurry, obviously we waited 7 years to get married and didn't have our first child until two years after that and our 2nd child came 18 months after the first.
Life happens fast. If you don't take the time to enjoy it, it's gone and leaves you looking back wondering why I didn't do more when I could. I thank God He is in charge. He knew what life was going to throw at us in the future. He knew we needed to take things slow and do all the things we did, the way we did it because the future was going to come to a stand still in a way. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever think we would have a disabled daughter that we were given as a gift from God, to take care of for the rest of her life and maybe ours. The days of spontaneity are gone. But that's o.k. We did a lot before and we still do things as we can but with a lot of advanced planning.
So dear Ali and all you twenty something’s following this post, enjoy each day. No matter what is going on or what you expect, it's really not in your hands like you think. There is a bigger plan and everything is going to be o.k. Even if you think you've been handed a life of lemons. As they say, make lemonade and be sure to add lots of sugar and laugh and smile and be thankful for the good times and bad. That's what makes life interesting, the unknown.